bythemethod.com blog

We have probably all heard about the little voice that speaks inside our head all of the time. Well of course that voice isn’t so little and it isn’t really inside our head. It is our own voice that sounds out our thoughts. But sometimes that voice is just plain stupid. The only way to know if what is being said is stupid is to listen and then think through what is being said. There are some simple things you can do to help you with this.

Get used to hearing the voice

You need to be aware of that voice speaking inside your head. Sometimes it won’t be a voice it will simply be a feeling. Other times you will have dreams about things that are also part of that voice.

Don’t panic - you are not going mad.

Everyone has this voice, these feelings, and the dreams.

If this voice is trying to persuade you to kill someone then it would probably be wise to go and see a doctor but most of the time this voice will seem like it is having a go at you.

Listen to what the voice is actually saying

When you lack confidence you will find that this little voice is constantly reminding you of why (in it’s opinion) you are so useless. The truth is that you are not useless but you just think you are and your voice likes to remind you of this.

You need to start taking notice of what the voice is saying.

This is important because when it is saying things in the background, and you are not aware of those things, it is easy to let that voice undermine your confidence.

Listen to what you are hearing and if you can right it down on some paper. If you can’t write it down then you either have to deal with it there and then, or you have to remember it for later.

Become your own analyst

Now you have to analyse what the voice has been saying.

This is fairly simple but it goes like this:

a) Does what the voice is saying make you feel bad about yourself?

b) Is there any justification for what the voice is saying? Where is the evidence?

c) If there is evidence make a list of all the reasons for why (even given the evidence) this is justified.

d) Dismiss the voice as being wrong.

For instance, if your voice said - ‘you can never lose weight’.

You might feel there is plenty of evidence for why the voice is saying this. Perhaps you have been on diets for years and never managed to lose weight.

Now think again about what the voice actually said, ‘you can never lose weight’.

This is wrong to say. You cannot ever say never because you do not know what the future will hold. Then think about the counter evidence. Well actually you have managed to lose weight in the past but you have not managed to keep it off. So the voice is wrong to say what it does.

Then think about others who have lost weight and have managed to keep it off. There is plenty of evidence that this can be done. There is nothing unique about you that you can’t do the same as many others. Anyway it is simple science that if you eat less than you use then you have to lose weight.

The voice is wrong.

You will get bored if I go through everything that is said that might be wrong but just think through your voice and don’t let it bully you into thinking stuff about yourself that is just not true.