Break the pattern for more success

bythemethod | August 5, 2008

It is all too easy to let a negative view or state stop us from getting the success we want. Even when something bad has not happened we can still create feelings that make us believe that they have. It might be past experience that has made us that way or it might be our inner talk or other people but wherever it comes from it is destructive to us.

However there is a way to break the power that negative thinking has on us. It’s called pattern breaking.

Being aware of the problem

First of all you need to develop awareness that you are doing this. Start to notice how you feel in situations. Do you feel negative about certain things? If you are not aware of your negative feelings (state as its often called) then you cannot take control over them.

Now think of a more positive state you would like to be in

You probably have a pretty clear view of what kind of state you would like to be in. If you struggle with this then you can think through some positive states when you have some time to do so. Think about people you admire and they way they behave in particular situations. Think about your favourite films and how they behave. I’m not suggesting you get ready to blast the baddies away but that you try to capture the kind of state that your heroes are in.

Develop a cue

This is not vital but it can help. Try to think of a cue - something that you can do - that will can use to help you change your state from one way of thinking to another. It could be something like putting your hand to your mouth and coughing or clenching your fist or touching your thumb to your fourth finger etc. I would advise against anything that looks silly or might draw too much attention to yourself. For instance changing state by thrusting your arm into the air with a clenched fist might seem good but you wouldn’t want to be doing it in the board room or when you were about to ask your dream date out for the night!

Use your cue and change your state

Now we have a moment of willpower to change your state. It seems simple but it is effective you simply say to yourself … “Stop. I’m not going to think like that … I’m going to think like this …” and you substitute your negative state for your positive one. Do your best to feel the excitement and positivity of your new state.

Establish that new state as your normal way of thinking

Of course you want to make it so you don’t have the negative state in the first place. So once you have your positive state tell your self that now at last this is the real you.