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I’m always hearing people say that they have to do something for themselves or it will never work. This is not true. It is true that people often fail in a task because they are not committed to something and it is also true that most people are at least a little bit selfish and can only get motivated when they know they will get the reward. But it is not true that you can only get motivated when you are the one who will benefit.

Consider why you are doing something

To get motivated about something you need to understand why you are doing it. This why might well be to improve yourself in some way, or it might be to help someone you love, or it might be driven by a passion for a cause but whatever it is you must have a why. You can get motivated when the end result will benefit someone else but you have to know why you are doing it.

Why is more about an image or a story than about a bland statement

For instance, if you goal was to lost weight for your children’s sake then just saying it is for your children is not a good enough why. You need to be able to spell out why you think it is important that you do this for your children, e.g. because I don’t want my children going to my funeral before they are adults. It gets even better if you can then picture something in your mind of what that will be like.

For yourself means nothing without an image

Even putting the emphasis on your own desires is not enough if you don’t have a good image. Just saying that you want something is not enough it must come from something much more real to you. This might mean having an image of what you will be like when you achieved your goal or it might be a story you can tell of a situation you will be in when you have achieved what you are trying to get motivated for.

I watched Australia’s biggest loser the other day and they were applying this principal very well. They got each person to choose an outfit that they wanted to fit in. This gave then a purpose because they could picture themselves in the outfit but also a story because they could talk about why fitting into that outfit was so important to them. Good motivational technique.

Motivating others

If you want someone else to do something then you can motivate them with a “why” as well. They need to understand why something is important to be done.

Your why must fit with your values

It is also important that your “why” is something that you can feel is important. If someone said that I should get motivated to steal something then it wouldn’t work (obvious example I know but it is important to understand this). If the why of a project doesn’t fit in with what I value then it won’t motivate me.

Conclusion

So then make sure you have a why you can believe in and that you can see in your mind and feel in your heart. Don’t get into the rut of thinking things can only succeed if I do it for me but instead understand why something is important to you. No amount of “doing it for me” will work unless you believe in what you are doing and can picture that success in your mind.

There is a great temptation to always think that the worst is going to happen to you. You know the kind of thing – you have to see the doctor, you have to see the boss, your wife tells you she wants to have a talk about something, etc. It’s easy to think that something is wrong and you are about to have your world turned upside down.

Then you discover that in fact your test results were fine, the boss wanted to thank you for doing a good job, your wife wanted to talk about holiday dates, etc.

Pessimists will tell you that it is best to anticipate the worst because then you are ready for it and anything above the worse is a bonus. However thinking this way leads to an increase in stress (high blood pressure – enlarged heart – sleepless nights – and so on). All this stress makes life miserable. The truth is that it is better not to anticipate the worst but the best.

The optimist discovers that they may not be right more of the time (although there is some evidence that suggests they are) but that when they get bad news they think about how they can cope rather than falling apart (a common misconception about optimists – that they go to peaces if they hear bad news).

So teach your self to aniticipate the best and not the worst.

Do you want to be successful? Are you successful now? What are you doing to make yourself more successful? It can take quite a long time for a plan to come together and during that time you need to be persistant. However if you keep doing the same thing over and over again then you will only ever get the same results. If you want something different to happen in your life then you need to do something different.

This is such a simple, yet important, rule that you ought to commit this one to memory.

Let’s say you want to be more successful in life. Well you will only get to be more successful if you do something different.

Let’s say you want a better relationship with someone else. If you always treat that person the same then you will always get the same kind of relationship.

Let’s say you want to get fitter. If you only ever take the same exercise that you always take then you will stay at the same level of fitness.

Let’s say you want to lose weight. If you always eat the same kinds of food that you do now then you will always be the same weight (or greater).

Let’s say you want to win a race. If you do the same things that you do now in a race then you will continue to come in the same position.

People who don’t get this basic rule tend to talk a lot about luck. They will say that they will win or be more successful if they can get lucky. They look at others and comment on how lucky those people are to be successful. Luck has nothing to do with it – they are doing something different.

So when you know what you want to do make sure you have a plan to do it and if that plan does not work then change it. If your new plan is less successful you can always return to the first or try another way again. But if you always do the same thing you will always get the same result.

Call me old fashioned but there is something about a hero that I like. I think we need more heroes and less villains who amuse us. Heroes are the people who make this world a better place to be in. Yes they have flaws and they make mistakes but we need heroes to make the world better.

Who is your hero? I guess we could get a very long list of very worthy people if you answered. But I want you to make sure there is at least one name on your list. That name should be your own.

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Quote

I demand more of myself than anyone else could ever expect.
Julius Irving

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Taken from the book 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People this list represents what scientists have discovered about successful people.

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Quote

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.”
St. Clement of Alexandra

Sometimes it is very hard to keep believing in what you are doing.

Some days are just plain tough and then those days turn to weeks and weeks can turn to months – perhaps even years. You keep slogging away and seem to be getting nowhere. During these times it would be very easy just to give in and live like everyone else.

Are you going the wrong way?

When you start to feel this way then you need to stop and think. Think about what you are trying to do. You need to be wise because just occasionally you might start down a path that is going to a deadend. If you can see a deadend looming then make sure you plan a new route. It could be all you need is a simple change of direction to keep going.

Why did you start this?

Now is the time to think about why you started on this journey or took up this project. What were you trying to achieve? Is it still worth trying to achieve it? Remember as much as you can the feelings of what made you start in the first place.

Sometimes the going just gets tough

There is a part of Dartmoor (an area I like to walk in) that is filled with bog and tough walking, I hate it. Whenever you get to this part of the moor you just know that the going will be tough. There will be a period of slog. The only thing is that to get to some parts of the moor you just have to go through this part – it can’t be avoided.

Life is similar in that sometimes to gain success you just have to go through the slog.

Mot people give up at this point

This is the place that most people give in. This is why only a few people ever succeed. The ones who succeed are those who are willing to go through the slog.

Don’t give up just because things are tough – you should only ever give up because something better is somewhere else.

Keeping hopeful is critical to success

Many others have been where you are now. Many famous and successful people have feaced exactl the same problems that you are facing now. The reason you now know their names (Eddison, Ford, Lincoln, Churchill etc) is because they did not give up.

Come on. Pick yourslef up. Remember why you are doing this. Have hope and press on towards your goal.

I don’t like writing about this topic because it’s about something that is wrong. I even feel a little nervous mentioning it because I don’t think it can be justified that this situation exists. However it does exist and one of the things about being successful is learning to accept and work within the limitations that the world imposes.

The subject now is about the game that is played in every office and every workplace.

The truth is that everywhere you go there is an established game that determines how successful you can be within that situation.

Now just for the record I believe that people should get on because of their merits and talents not because they know how to work a system. Yet systems exist and if we ignore them it will impact our chances of success.

If you watch the programme the Apprentice in the UK (I believe the USA has similar – don’t know about other countries) you will discover that there is a game. One element of the game for Sir Alan Sugar is that it all comes down to results. If you are the one who is responsible for bad results you have better find a good explanation otherwise … “you’re fired”. It doesn’t matter that someone else is more odious than you or that you have better qualifications the biggest factor is results. It seems that most of the candidates don’t get this.

So if you want to get on in your office you need to learn the rules of the game.

In any game there are usually various players and here are just a few:

The King: This is the person who will be responsible for your success or not. This is not always the big boss but sometimes it is. This person may be your own boss or it might be the boss in another department. Whoever it is this is person you need to impress the most.

The Gatekeeper: This is the person (or persons) who can open the gate so you can get access to The King. This might be the PA or it might be a friend of The King who works in the office. This person has the ear of The King. Keep your ears open though because sometimes these people are not who you might think they are and anything you say gets back to The King.

The Joker: This is a person who will trick you into thinking they are the gatekeeper when they are not. Be wary of this person because time spent trying to impress them might well be time wasted. You can recognise these because they will often be telling you how they can help you succeed. Be wary though because just occassionaly a Gatekeeper tells you this kind of stuff.

The Black Knight: This is the person (or persons) who oppose your success. They might be in competition with you or they might just like being nasty. Listen carefully to what they say and how they act. Sometimes they will be a friend to you so they can stab you in the back (watch the Apprentice if you doubt this). However, like in any good story they might just help you to succeed in the end (it’s a funny old world).

The Wise Man/Woman: These are people who understand the game and how it’s played. You can learn a lot from them. Be careful what advice you follow because sometimes they hate the game so much that they fight against it. You need to be wise yourself.

There are many other players in the game and you can probably work it all out for yourself. Learning to play the game (especially if it is coupled with a desire to work hard and succeed) will help you enormously.

I personally hate the game but sometimes even what you hate has to be played.