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I’ve read a fair bit lately about a study into whether positive affirmation statements are in fact bad for you. A study undertaken by Psychologists Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee from the University of Waterloo, and W.Q. Elaine Perunovic from the University of New Brunswick, has concluded that people with low self esteem get no benefit from repeating unrealistic affirmations about themselves and in fact the so called affirmations had the opposite effect (but only very slightly). They also found that the affirmations only very slightly raised the self esteem of those with high self esteem.

I’m not personally surprised by these results but I’m not convinced that this actually tells us anything we didn’t already know. Affirmations (for those who suggest them as part of a self help regime) are not a quick fix but instead are designed to help people replace the negative things that they believe about themselves. Psychologists (especially sports Psychologists) have used them for a long time and many report very good results.

I’m always amused by those who pick up on these stories and then turn them into rants against self help and positive thinking. The health benefits of positive thinking are well documented as are the benefits of self help that is done properly (just ask anyone who has given up smoking).

Like all ideas there are quacks who abuse the vulnerable but this doesn’t make the idea wrong. We wouldn’t reject medicine because some make sugar pills so why reject self help because some abuse the ideas behind it?

I welcome the study and I’m sure the findings are important but perhaps only in exposing that just going through the motions of anything don’t make it effective.

Affirmations should be done in the right way and not seen as a quick fix for anything.

It is all too easy to let a negative view or state stop us from getting the success we want. Even when something bad has not happened we can still create feelings that make us believe that they have. It might be past experience that has made us that way or it might be our inner talk or other people but wherever it comes from it is destructive to us.

However there is a way to break the power that negative thinking has on us. It’s called pattern breaking.

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It’s hard enough staying confident in life without having to cope with people who talk down to you. Perhaps your Mum or Dad used to put you down all the time saying things like: idiot or stupid or you’ll never do that. Perhaps you have friends or enemies who do the same. Perhaps your employer or supervisor or your husband or your wife do the same.

So what do you do?

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Being positive is always better than being negative – in my opinion. There is always more research coming out on this subject and despite the odd example where being negative helps you more (no doubt produced by negative people) the vast majority of information points to the benefits of having a positive rather than negative outlook.

How then do you get to be more positive?

Make a list of positive qualities

There is a simple technique called positive listings.

We are often very good at knocing ourselves and believing that we are no good. It could be that some time in the past some well meaning (but very helpful) person has pointed out some failing in your life and has made you feel horrible about yourself. This can be worse when it is someone whom you love or respect. Parents, teachers, Doctors, Dentists etc are all guilty of this at some point or another. We may have done it ourselves – and then hopefully later regretted it.

What we need to do is to think about the positive things about us and this will then help us to think more positively about ourselves which will help us to achieve more and feel more confident.

Get yourself a piece of paper, a pen and somewhere you can write where you will not be disturbed.

Write down your positive qualities.

If you struggle to think what they are then think about the following and find the positive qualities that apply (you may find more than one for each or none for some these are just to help you think):

• Relationships
• Talents
• Values
• Qualifications
• Humour
• Creative
• Sports
• Feelings
• Experiences
• Others

Take your list and read through it slowly.

 You need to take some care to read through what you have written. Try to remember the experience that made you write down your list of things. Accept that they are part of you and feel good about them.

Try one of these

The next thing you can do is to write down each thing in the third person e.g. put your name in to the sentence i.e. Chris is kind and loving, Chris is good at walking, Chris has a good sense of humour etc

Then try writing from the 1st person e.g. I i.e. I am kind and loving, I am good at walking.

Try to feel happy that these are your good qualities.

By accepting that these are all part of you, the individual, you can reinforce all these positive thoughts, feelings and perceptions, which then lead to enhanced beliefs.

What things can you say are your positive qualities?

Leave a comment telling us what they are

There are few things more likely to trigger stress than being negative about things. Research has shown that being positive is better for your health than being negative.

If we view every situation as a problem then it will trigger our stress response every time.

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