bythemethod.com blog

Well of course it all depends on the context but for a moment let me assume that you are thinking about a state of mind, something that self help gurus are always going on about.

It is important, in any endeavour, to make sure you are in the right state of mind but it is even more important to understand what a state is in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes I have found myself in a situation I didn’t want to be in. It’s easy for me during those times to feel very negative about things and this negativity always makes any situation worse. There is a simple technique that works for many people that allows you to get away from the negative feelings pretty easily but it does take a little practice.

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Affirmations are an important technique that help you change the way you perceive yourself. If you have a poor self image or you suffer with too much stress because of the way you think about yourself then affirmations can help you. Affirmations are probably the most widely used and accepted form of self improvement. Here I show you what to do in a simple but effective way.

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There have been many models of change over the years and they all seem to offer something different. More recently a model has come to the fore known as TTM or Transtheoretical Model. It’s used in the treatment of addiction. This model offers us a way that anyone can use to make changes in their life.

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One of the hardest things to do is to change. We can become so used to our habits and ways of doing things that making a change can seem to be almost impossible.

I think there are several things that stand in the way of someone changing and here a just a couple of them:

1) Fear. We are afraid that if we change then we will have to give up some of the security that we have spent so much of our life developing. Security is a good thing but so often it limits what things we are willing to do. What is strange though is that often people want to change so they will have more security but the act of changing can make you feel insecure. Don’t ever let fear drive you. Take a stand against fear and discover how much you can change if you are willing to take the risk.

2) Not seeing the point. If you are going to change you need to get the point of changing. Too often our reason for changing is because everyone else thinks its a good idea. If you want to lost weight or perhaps give up smoking you need to get the point of why you are giving up. If you don’t get the point then no amount of effort will make the change. If you think something is a good idea but you are not sure what the point is then try writing down an arguement for why you should make the change. If your arguement is not convincing then try again. Keep up the arguement until you know why you are going to make the change.

3) Not desiring enough. Just seeing the point of changing won’t do you also need a strong desire to change. This can come through many different ways but without the motivation to change you won’t get started and getting started is one of the hardest parts. One way to address this problem is to build up in your mind a good picture of what things will be like if you manage to change. Bring some emotion into the picture and memorise it - when you feel like giving up let the picture into your mind again.

These are just a few of the reasons but they are big ones. If you want to make a change make sure you have got these sorted out.

Here is a four point method for motivating a team. It comes from the world of sports but the approach is easily adapted to any team of any age. It comes from an excellent book called “Coaching and Motivation: A practical guide to maximum athletic performance” by William E. Warren. Here is a man who knows his stuff based on many years experience - this stuff is not just theory it works.

1. You must have a clear plan of where you’re going. Without such a plan, you’re unlikely to inspire confidence in youngsters who have no idea where they’re going, whether in athletics or in life.

2. You must be able to communicate that plan to your players in terms they understand. The best plan in the world is useless if your players cannot execute it, or if they don’t understand what you’re trying to do.

3. You must be able to let each player know exactly how he/she fits into your overall plans for the team.The coach’s efforts in this regard are integral in the process of molding individuals into a closly knit team. Players must be shown precisely how their contributions can help the team. Without that necessary step, their efforts are likely to be disoriented and misdirected.

4. You must tell the players what you want often enough - and in enough different ways (e.g. slogans and posters on the dressing room walls, etc) - that everyone understands what you’re saying. Tell them what you want them to believe, and why you believe it. Then tell them again. And again. And when or if you ever reach a point where you think they understand you, find another way to say the same thing, and tell them again.

There was a wise old man where I first started to work - well really he was a little obnoxious and seemed to hate everyone. However he used a saying that has always stuck with me.

“If things don’t change - they will stay as they are”.

Of course it was meant to be nonsense but in some strange way it has a grain of truth in it. If you are keen to see your life change you must do something different. If you don’t change then things will stay just as they are right now.

If you have had enough of being overweight or being in debt or not having the life you want then the only way to make things work for you is to do something differently.

It’s the old rule of cause and effect if you keep causing the same way then you will be effecting the same way. If you do tomorrow what you did today then you will get the same results from tomorrow as you got today.

So if you want things to be different you have to do something different to make it happen. What is it going to be?