bythemethod.com blog

Last night I watched the first of the new series of “The Apprentice” on the BBC. It’s always good entertainment and can teach you a thing or two about business.

There was a good example of what can happen if you attack someone in a group. The team leader (Alex) got annoyed with someone who was supposed to be pricing the fish that they were selling (Nicholas). It was justified because the prices were wrong and they had been selling at a loss. Nicholas should have double checked his work as it was so important to the outcome. However Alex handled things very poorly. Instead of identifying the problem and correcting it he engaged in a drawn out personal attack on Nicholas.

Now you will know that when you attack someone in a group the whole group feels it. Everyone will feel like they have been criticised and in this case personally attacked. What will also happen is that those who have the greatest affinity with the person being attacked will feel it more keenly. When people are attacked they tend to forge links to defend themselves. The end result is a split in the group.

Alex was completely unaware that the split had happened but then he had not directly made the split but it came about as the result of his actions. He needs more senstivity and listening skills to help him with this.

It would have been much better to have corrected the problem and then to have talked with Nicholas at an opportune time (when the others in the group were not listening) about what went wrong and how it could have been avoided.

In managing stress you need to be careful not to create circumstances like this one. It doesn’t matter how justified your comments are if you attack one person you also attack others in the group. This creates more conflict and hense stress.

If you must criticise someone do it to their face (when others are not listening) and work hard not to use emotional language or say anything that might sound like a personal attack. Surely the reason to criticise someone is to encourage them to change – people don’t change if you attack them, they defend.

What do you do with your own frustration? If you release your tension by moaning (I don’t personally recommend this) find a neutral third party who has nothing to do with the situation (and never will). Alternatively try some active sport (e.g. running, walking etc) or practice good relaxation techniques.