bythemethod.com blog

I once read somewhere that we should never tell someone that they have failed at it. I don’t agree. It seems to me we need to wake up to the fact that sometimes we fail. But failing is not the problem, the problem is how we view that failure.

If you listen to Simon Cowell on the X-factor you will often hear him saying things that sound at face value to be nasty. He will point out what is wrong with a performance when others seem incapable of saying anything negative. Now I’m in favour of being positive but if someone is doing something wrong then they need to hear about what they are doing wrong.

When you understand this simple truth you can start turning a loss into a gain.

What to do when you fail

You must first understand that failing is not disaster. You need to train yourself not to feel the emotional failure that so often comes with the frustration of not winning. This is one of the reasons why I think competitive sport is important for children because they need to learn how to handle disappointment. You need to develop the attitude of a good loser. The way to start doing this is to be the first to genuinely congratulate the winner. So get rid of the emotion that you feel at losing. You can do this even in business and even when you can’t make contact with the winner. Just say it in your mind or even write it down somewhere but make sure you do it.

Next you need to see the loss as an opportunity. Every time you lose you learn how not to do something (someone famous said this didn’t they – was it Edison? I can’t remember). So you are learning some important lessons about yourself and the way things are done. It will not always be your fault or something that you can control. For instance in a business deal you might discover that the contract you hoped for was awarded to a family member. You were in an impossible to win situation here. However perhaps you could learn to spot the warning signs of impossible situations to win.

So you have an opportunity to learn. What did you learn? If you are stuck then find someone whose opinion you can trust and ask them. In a business deal you could even ask the person who didn’t give you the contract why you didn’t get it.

Every loss can become a gain

Do all you can to turn a loss to a gain – a failure to a success. Use the experience to motivate you on to better things. Do something different to make a difference. Change your mind or the way you do things so that next time you do not lose.

Perhaps the most important thing is to learn not to fear failure. This can be one of the worst fears there is. Don’t fear failure but instead learn to turn it into success.

Edison – one of the most successful people America has ever had once said (about his attempts to make a light bulb):

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Henry Ford went bankrupt twice before he got it right with the Ford Motor Company.

Abraham Lincoln suffered many failures before he was successful.

If you want a list of business people who went bankrupt before success take a look at

http://www.seattle-washington-bankruptcy-lawyer.com/6.html

Loss can always become gain.