Build Your Self Confidence 1: Build your desire

bythemethod | July 18, 2008

Table of contents for Build your self confidence

Build Your Self Confidence 1: Build your desire
Build Your Self Confidence 2: Act more confident
Build Your Self Confidence 3: Change the way you talk
Build Your Self Confidence 4: Celebrating past success
Build Your Self Confidence 5: Improve yourself
Build Your Self Confidence 6: Reward yourself

In this series of 6 posts we will be looking at how you can build your self confidence. Lots of things will have an impact on your self confidence, everything from your friends down to the way you dress. However there is hope for everyone. Because we are talking about “self” confidence it means that no matter what pressure you are under from others it is possible to break away and build your own confident self.

What is causing you to lack confidence?

You need to start by thinking through what it is that is causing you to lack confidence.

Start with the external things. Did your family support you emotionally as a child? When you did something well did people tell you what a good thing you had done? Did you have good friends or perhaps no friends at all? Did you fit in with the crowd or stand out from the crowd? Did you ever feel you were on your own?

Now think about the internal things. Do you constantly tell yourself that you are no good? Do you believe you make a lot of mistakes? Do you feel awkward around other people?

If you need help then get it – your mental health warning

You know if anyone tells you to exercise they always say you should see your doctor first. This is the mental health equivalent.

If when you have been thinking you have thought about some things from your past that really made you sad I want you to consider taking some counselling. All of us have some things in the past that upset us but if you find that these are big things that keep coming up again and again then you may benefit from professional counselling.

I’m not saying you have to at all and most of us will not need counselling but it would be wrong of me not to mention it. If while taking this course you find that there are things that keep coming up again and again that may be a clue to needing some extra help. Enough said.

Your past is past

Whatever you turned up in your thinking above is in the past. From this moment on you are starting fresh. You can’t change the past you can only change the future. From this moment – as you read this – your new life is beginning. It may not be perfect from this moment and you may think it doesn’t feel an awful lot different but it is new.

Now with your new life you are going to make some changes that will make you into a different more confident person.

Write down what you want

You are going to create a desire statement about what you want. This relates to your confidence only. So it could be that your desire is to be more confident with other people. It could be you want the confidence to speak in front of others. It could be you want the confidence to speak to a particular person about starting a relationship. This list could go on forever.

Write down what you desire the most. Over the next ten days I want you to write this down every morning. Writing fixes an idea in your mind and once it is fixed in your mind you will start seeing ways to make it happen.

What will it feel like when you have your desire?

When you get an opportunity I want you to relax and think about what life will be like when you have what you desire. Think about things in a positive way. Imagine the feelings you will have and how happy you will be. Remember that this happiness will come from having the confidence and not by getting what you want.

Self-confidence is often linked to an element of risk. Not everyone gets the answer that they want. However having the confidence to take the risk is enough. If you have confidence for one risk then you can take more.

Getting what you want is not the most important thing

It is always nice when you get what you want but this is not the most important thing. When you don’t get what you want you can learn to become stronger and better. Being stronger and better are great results. So if you try something and it fails remember that you are learning things that will make you stronger and better in the future. Even things going wrong can help build your confidence.