One of the programmes I watched was about the people who walked on the moon. Two things strike me in particular about their experience.

The first is that they are just very ordinary people who still seem a little amazed that they were the ones who got to go to the moon. There was a clip of Neil Armstrong’s parents on a T.V. programme when he had just been picked for the space programme and they were just very ordinary people – like anyone’s mum or dad. You don’t have to be superman to achieve great things.

The next thing came at the end of the programme. The astronauts were speaking about how the moon landings had affected them. Every one of them that were interviewed said something about the spiritual impact of looking back at the earth from such a distance and seeing this small blue disk hanging in a great expanse of black. This had a profound effect on them which even today 40 years after can bring tears to the eyes of an astronaut. It took that distance to make them think bigger than they normally did. At a moment when technology had given them the chance to walk on another world, and at a moment when they were surrounded by technology to keep them alive, and at a moment when we might suppose they would think about the brilliance of mankind, they thought of God.

So I want to encourage you to think bigger. Try to see beyond the obious stuff of life and see the bigger picture. Why not get a picture of the earth from a distance and spend time thinking about the bigger picture of life.

There are three broad strands of thinking in spiritual terms when it comes to thinking about the self.

The first of these is the idea that god is impersonal and so the self does not exist or is essentially something to escape from. We see this idea in many of the ancient faiths of the east and in much of the so called New Age movement. Buddha, for instance, saw his greatest moment of spiritual achievement as being released from the self. As Buddha himself once put it: ““Life is suffering.” This turns the self into something to escape from and so in spiritual terms we need to be released from the self if we are to achieve wholeness. Happiness and enjoyment and success are alien to this way of thinking because they are things that concern the self.

The next is the atheistic approach. We see this in many of the philosophies of the early to mid part of the 20th century. Here the self is whatever we choose it to be. We can decide for ourselves what we want to be or where we find wholeness. In much atheistic literature we read that there are no limits for the self at all. However if we try to find a purpose or meaning in life then we discover ultimately that there is none. This approach truly does lead to selfishness and it can do no other. Ideals of getting benefits from helping others will in the end come down to the benefit to yourself in doing this.

The third approach comes from the Judeo-Christian-Islamic faiths where God is viewed in a personal, even intimate, way. Here the self is a created being who finds purpose and meaning within the purposes of God. God who is working to make right a world gone wrong gives meaning and purpose to those who will help him. Yes the self can become selfish but that is not a part of the approach to spirituality that we talk about but is part of the broken world God is trying to mend. Here we find our purpose and reason for being in following God. Within this view of spirituality the self is important but the self is also part of the whole that works towards the building of a kingdom of God.

It is, of course, up to you where you want to seek your spirituality but it’s the latter of the three approaches that makes the most sense to me.

There are five stages in this model of change.

• Pre-contemplation – the first stage is where you don’t see any need to change.
• Contemplation – this is the stage where you start to see that the benefits of changing are greater than the problems of changing.
• Preparation – this is where the choice to change has been made and plans are prepared to make the change (e.g. goal setting etc)
• Action – this is where you put the plan into action
• Maintenance – the stage where the change is fully incorporated into your lifestyle and so becomes a normal part of your life.

Some add another step of Termination just to make the point that the change has become the normal.

I have great respect for psychologists and this model is very helpful but I can’t help but feel it’s the same stages that Christians and others have been telling us about for centuries. Still it’s always nice to see these things confirmed by science.

What use is this to you?

Well the important thing for us is to recognise where you are in the five stages.

If you are trying to set goals but are in the pre-contemplation or even the contemplation stage then there is no way you will succeed.

If you are stuck in the pre-contemplation stage then you need to keep exploring why you think the change is important. If you are only interested because others tell you its important then you may not want to change and so will find it very hard to get started.

When you have reached the contemplation stage then you need to write down the pros and cons until you have many more pros that cons. Keep this information because you may need some help when the going gets tough.

Once you enter the preparation stage you need to keep going through into the action stage. Preparation without action is time wasted.

Then you need to make your change part of your every day life – not just something you do for a while.

What if I stop and the change does not take?

It’s not unusual for people to slip back in the system and end up in the contemplation or even pre-contemplation phase again. Don’t despair but keep working at the change. It can take a long time to change something that has become a normal part of your life.

How can I make sure I don’t slip back?

You need to make changes in your life to make sure the new way becomes the normal way. This might involve making some big changes in your life. You may need to rethink what you do in the evenings and the people you associate with for instance. The changes won’t take if you continue to live the same way you always have.

Your life now was once a change

You were not born the way you are now. Everything about your life and the way you live now was once a change. You have done it before and you can do it again. But you won’t do it unless you have a clear desire to change and this comes through the initial stages.

On other occasions we will explore this more fully.

Your Life Has Purpose and Meaning
Use a Strategy for Happiness
You Don’t Have to Win Every Time
Your Goals Should Be Aligned with One Another
Choose Your Comparisons Wisely
Cultivate Friendships
Turn Off the TV
Accept Yourself—Unconditionally
Remember Where You Came From
Limit Yourself to Thinking About One Subject as You Lie Down to Sleep
Friendship Beats Money
Have Realistic Expectations
Be Open to New Ideas
Share with Others How Important They Are to You
If You’re Not Sure, Guess Positively
Believe in Yourself
Don’t Believe in Yourself Too Much
Don’t Face Your Problems Alone
Age Is Not to Be Feared
Develop a Household Routine
Don’t Be Overprotective
Pay Attention. You May Have What You Want
Don’t Let Your Religious Beliefs Fade
Do What You Say You Are Going to Do
Don’t Be Aggressive with Your Friends and Family
Root for the Home Team
Don’t Confuse Stuff with Success
Every Relationship Is Different
Don’t Think “What If”
Volunteer
If You Can’t Reach Your Goals, Your Goals Will Hurt You
Exercise
Little Things Have Big Meanings
It’s Not What Happened, It’s How You Think About What Happened
Develop Some Common Interests with Loved Ones
Laugh
Don’t Let Your Entire Life Hinge on One Element
Share of Yourself
Busy Is Better Than Bored
Satisfaction Is Relative
Learn to Use a Computer
Try to Think Less About the People and Things That Bother You
Keep Your Family Close
Eat Some Fruit Every Day
Enjoy What You Have
Think in Concrete Terms
Be Socially Supportive
Don’t Blame Yourself
Be a Peacemaker
Cherish Animals
Make Your Work a Calling
Never Trade Your Morals for Your Goals
Don’t Pretend to Ignore Things Your Loved Ones Do That Bother You
Get a Good Night’s Sleep
Buy What You Like
Accomplish Something Every Day
Be Flexible
Events Are Temporary
Be Your Own Fan
Join a Group
Be Positive
There Will Be an End, but You Can Be Prepared
How We See the World Is More Important Than How the World Is
Keep a Pen and Paper Handy
Help the Next Person Who Needs Some Minor Assistance
Take Care Not to Harshly Criticize Family and Friends
Some People Like the Big Picture, and Others Like the Details
Do Things You Are Good At
Go Visit Your Neighbor
Smile
Don’t Accept Television’s Picture of the World
You Always Have a Choice
Be Agreeable
Don’t Ignore One Part of Your Life
Listen to Music
Let Your Goals Guide You
Use Your Job Positively
Don’t Forget to Have Fun
Believe in Ultimate Justice
Reminisce
Be Conscientious
Don’t Dwell on Unwinnable Conflicts
Enjoy the Ordinary
Focus Not on the World’s Tragedies, but on the World’s Hope
Get a Hobby
Envying Other People’s Relationships Is Pointless
Give Yourself Time to Adapt to Change
Focus on What Really Matters to You
Realize that Complete Satisfaction Does Not Exist
Surround Yourself with Pleasant Aromas
Don’t Let Others Set Your Goals
You Are a Person, Not a Stereotype
Know What Makes You Happy and Sad
Keep Reading
We Must Feel Needed
Say “So What”
Have a Purpose
You Have Not Finished the Best Part of Your Life
Money Does Not Buy Happiness
What Does It All Mean? You Decide

Taken from a book called “The 100 simple secrets of happy people” by David Niven PhD