bythemethod.com blog

When you get up in the morning and pull back your curtains what do you see? Do you notice that there are clouds in the sky and the dark houses the other side of the road? Or do you notice the gaps in the clouds with the sunlight streaming through them? Do you notice the bird flying high in the sky or the cat about to do some business on your front lawn? I could go on but I hope you get the point of what I am trying to say.

If you want to know if you are a pessimist or an optoimist then one of the easiest ways is to take notice of what you see. Do you see the good things that are happening or the bad? Optimists notice the good, of course.

All the time we can either fix our eyes on the bad stuff or we can fix our eyes on the good stuff – it’s our choice. Learning to be content and seeing the good side of things is an important skill to learn. If you want to start being more of an optimist then start to notice the good things.

When you start to do this you will also start to notice the oppotunities that are available to you. This is one of the big benefits of being an optimist – it may not be that better things happen to an optimist but simply that by focusing on opportunities instead of threats the optimist finds more ways to succeed.

Being positive is always better than being negative – in my opinion. There is always more research coming out on this subject and despite the odd example where being negative helps you more (no doubt produced by negative people) the vast majority of information points to the benefits of having a positive rather than negative outlook.

How then do you get to be more positive?

Make a list of positive qualities

There is a simple technique called positive listings.

We are often very good at knocing ourselves and believing that we are no good. It could be that some time in the past some well meaning (but very helpful) person has pointed out some failing in your life and has made you feel horrible about yourself. This can be worse when it is someone whom you love or respect. Parents, teachers, Doctors, Dentists etc are all guilty of this at some point or another. We may have done it ourselves – and then hopefully later regretted it.

What we need to do is to think about the positive things about us and this will then help us to think more positively about ourselves which will help us to achieve more and feel more confident.

Get yourself a piece of paper, a pen and somewhere you can write where you will not be disturbed.

Write down your positive qualities.

If you struggle to think what they are then think about the following and find the positive qualities that apply (you may find more than one for each or none for some these are just to help you think):

• Relationships
• Talents
• Values
• Qualifications
• Humour
• Creative
• Sports
• Feelings
• Experiences
• Others

Take your list and read through it slowly.

 You need to take some care to read through what you have written. Try to remember the experience that made you write down your list of things. Accept that they are part of you and feel good about them.

Try one of these

The next thing you can do is to write down each thing in the third person e.g. put your name in to the sentence i.e. Chris is kind and loving, Chris is good at walking, Chris has a good sense of humour etc

Then try writing from the 1st person e.g. I i.e. I am kind and loving, I am good at walking.

Try to feel happy that these are your good qualities.

By accepting that these are all part of you, the individual, you can reinforce all these positive thoughts, feelings and perceptions, which then lead to enhanced beliefs.

What things can you say are your positive qualities?

Leave a comment telling us what they are