bythemethod.com blog

It’s hard enough staying confident in life without having to cope with people who talk down to you. Perhaps your Mum or Dad used to put you down all the time saying things like: idiot or stupid or you’ll never do that. Perhaps you have friends or enemies who do the same. Perhaps your employer or supervisor or your husband or your wife do the same.

So what do you do?

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It’s wrong to reward yourself for things that you should do right anyway. This is what most people think but most people are wrong. One of the things that lowers self-confidence and self esteme is a lack of rewarding yourself for your successes. Even small success should be rewarded. In this last of the current series of posts on building self confidence we will explore how to build rewards in to your daily life.

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If you lack confidence or your self esteem is low then you proabably don’t need me to tell you to improve yourself. You need to understand that you are better than you think you are – the vast majority of us underrate our abilities and how much people like us. You also need to understand that it is important for everyone to build a habit of self improvement because no one is perfect.

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In a recent study undertaken by Jennifer Crocker and Yu Niiya from the University of Michigan and Dominik Mischkowski from the University of Konstanz it has been shown that thinking about what you value can help you in life.

It has long been believed that reflecting on your values raises your self esteem and so makes you less defensive when you have to address your problems. However this study has shown that reflecting on values makes you more focussed on others which makes them more loving and connected to others.

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We continue our series on building self confidence and self esteem with a look back at our past. Your past is always important in that it provides a filter through which you view the present. So if you failed in some task in the past it will threaten your confidence in the present and similarly if you succeeded at something in the past it will help build confidence for the present.

The problem is that normal people tend to remember past failure rather than past success. Here we explore how to turn that around.

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One of the most destructive things for our self confidence and self esteem is the way we talk to ourselves. We all talk to ourselves constantly although we are usually not too aware of what we are saying. When you call yourself a ’stupid idiot’ because you forgot your lunch you are knocing your self confidence.

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Gaining confidence in yourself is a process. Real confidence grows and develops over time. However there are some very simple ways to increase your confidence straight away. All you need to do is to act more confident and your confidence will start to grow.

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In this series of 6 posts we will be looking at how you can build your self confidence. Lots of things will have an impact on your self confidence, everything from your friends down to the way you dress. However there is hope for everyone. Because we are talking about “self” confidence it means that no matter what pressure you are under from others it is possible to break away and build your own confident self.

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