What really makes the difference between a success and a failure often comes down to simply keeping going.

At that very moment when you feel like giving up, others on the same journey will feel like giving up as well. What makes you different (and hence a success) is that you are not going to give up. Let other people give up but not you. Walk past those who are sitting down and giving in. You feel the same pain and experience the same feelings of doom that everyone else feels but you are not going to give up.

If you must then plan in a time of retreat or relaxation but make sure you have a plan for afterwards.

Now is the time to dig out all those dreams you once had and to renew them. Feel the power of them again.

Come on it’s time to get going. It may be tough and hard. Just take one step at a time. Slowly are carefully push your way forward and keep going. You are on your way to success!

Table of contents for Expanding your mind

1. A loss becomes a gain
2. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten
3. The imagination is more powerful than the will

I once read somewhere that we should never tell someone that they have failed at it. I don’t agree. It seems to me we need to wake up to the fact that sometimes we fail. But failing is not the problem, the problem is how we view that failure.

If you listen to Simon Cowell on the X-factor you will often hear him saying things that sound at face value to be nasty. He will point out what is wrong with a performance when others seem incapable of saying anything negative. Now I’m in favour of being positive but if someone is doing something wrong then they need to hear about what they are doing wrong.

When you understand this simple truth you can start turning a loss into a gain.

What to do when you fail

You must first understand that failing is not disaster. You need to train yourself not to feel the emotional failure that so often comes with the frustration of not winning. This is one of the reasons why I think competitive sport is important for children because they need to learn how to handle disappointment. You need to develop the attitude of a good loser. The way to start doing this is to be the first to genuinely congratulate the winner. So get rid of the emotion that you feel at losing. You can do this even in business and even when you can’t make contact with the winner. Just say it in your mind or even write it down somewhere but make sure you do it.

Next you need to see the loss as an opportunity. Every time you lose you learn how not to do something (someone famous said this didn’t they – was it Edison? I can’t remember). So you are learning some important lessons about yourself and the way things are done. It will not always be your fault or something that you can control. For instance in a business deal you might discover that the contract you hoped for was awarded to a family member. You were in an impossible to win situation here. However perhaps you could learn to spot the warning signs of impossible situations to win.

So you have an opportunity to learn. What did you learn? If you are stuck then find someone whose opinion you can trust and ask them. In a business deal you could even ask the person who didn’t give you the contract why you didn’t get it.

Every loss can become a gain

Do all you can to turn a loss to a gain – a failure to a success. Use the experience to motivate you on to better things. Do something different to make a difference. Change your mind or the way you do things so that next time you do not lose.

Perhaps the most important thing is to learn not to fear failure. This can be one of the worst fears there is. Don’t fear failure but instead learn to turn it into success.

Edison – one of the most successful people America has ever had once said (about his attempts to make a light bulb):

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Henry Ford went bankrupt twice before he got it right with the Ford Motor Company.

Abraham Lincoln suffered many failures before he was successful.

If you want a list of business people who went bankrupt before success take a look at

http://www.seattle-washington-bankruptcy-lawyer.com/6.html

Loss can always become gain.

I always think it is wise to listen to the words of those who have made a success out of life. It is near to impossible to find anyone who has all of the answers but it is wise to listen to anyone who has been successful at anything.

When you listen to anyone – no matter who they are and including me – there is always the chance that they might be wrong.

However in this case I think Andrew Carnegie is spot on right. So many people want to be a success without putting in the hard work of becomming an expert in their field.

Becoming an expert can take a very long time, and it is hard even then to get people to listen to you, but this does not make it any less important.

If you are struggling to keep going then remember that sometimes it is hard but if you want to be the best you have to put in the work. To be pre-emminent in anything you have to become a master of it.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson

I’m still surprise by the number of people who trust to luck.

They will say things like: well of course he/she was just lucky or they must have been in the right place at the right time.

There is no use in trusting to good luck and if you do then you can kiss your dreams goodbye. You have to make your own good luck in this world.

There is no denying the important of hard work if you want to succeed, bearing in mind that hard work on it’s own does not automatically mean success. You need to work smart and hard to get success.

If you are feeling down and feeling like nothing ever goes your way and you must be the victim of some pretty mighty bad luck then take heart. You can make your own good luck by working hard and smart at what you do.

Keep going your hard work will pay off in the end.

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible
Arthur C. Clarke

If you want to do something very simple and easy you will find plenty of people who will support you all the way. If your desire is to repeat what everyone else has done before and to live a very ordinary life then no one will question what you are trying to do.

However if you want to do the extra-ordinary. If you want to push back the boundaries of whatever anyone else in your family has ever done before. If you are not satisfied with ordinary and want more, then you will find plenty of people only too willing to tell you how stupid you are.

You should never want to do just what everyone else is doing. You should always want more.

Just because it might seem impossible does not mean it is and just as Arthur C. Clarke said if you want to see what is possible you have to do the impossible. If yo want to go beyond the ordinary and make a real difference in your life then when you see a boundary push past it.

Is this being silly? Maybe. Is it unrealistic? No.

At some point someone has taken what seemed impossible and made it possible.

This does not mean ignoring the science or ignoring the obvious but it does mean not being afraid of failure. The only way to push back the boundaries is to risk failure. Failure is not a reason to give in. Failure is just not being able to push back the boundaries of what is possible.

Don’t give in. Keep going.

The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world.
Lao-Tzu

Quite a long time ago I used to work in the Construction Industry. This involved drawing steelwork for others to fabricate into buildings. One of those issues with building that always fastinated me was the way that some seamingly very weak things could overcome the ver strong.

For instance a small plant can force it’s way through concrete. Oxygene can slowly destroy steel. A little water getting to some reinforcement inside concrete can bring a bridge or building crashing down.

We are constantly being bombarded with images of strength. We are often impressed by the people who seem to be the toughest and assume that only the tough can succeed.

This is simply not true. In fact the truth that wise people have often tried to tell us is that the soft can overcome the hardest things.

If you feel soft compared to others who seem hard and invincible then don’t let that put you off. Don’t be persuaded that it is better to be hard.

Also if you face a problem that seems to you to be so tough that you will never overcome it then think again. It is the soft things that overcome the hard. Caves are carved through rock by something as soft as water.

If you feel things are getting tough then keep going. With persistance even the toughest of problems can be overcome.

I demand more of myself than anyone else could ever expect.
Julius Irving

For those who don’t know, Julius Irving is a famous basketball player. He is the fifth highest scoring player in the history.

There is only one person who can make you successful – you.

It’s no good looking and hoping for that person who will take you from obscurity and put you on the top because they will never arrive. If you are going to succeed then it’s down to you.

Don’t let yourself off the hook either. If you are going to be good at something or excell or simply succeed then you must demand much from yourself.

Don’t just rise to the level that people expect from you instead rise to the level that you would like yourself to be at.

Think for a moment about some people who you admire. Now tell yourself that you are going to be at least as good as them if not better.

Living in the UK I’m a great fan of football (I’m talking about soccer by the way) and anyone who has ever heard about football will have heard the name David Beckham. Most football wannabes say they would like to be like David Beckham.

If you want to be as good as Beckham you have to be as committed as he is. How did he get to be so good? Hard work.

When everyone else had finished training and gone home David would stay behind and practice his kicking. He is one of the best kickers in the world because he worked hard at it – he demanded a lot of himself.

If you want to be as good as David Beckham you have to demand much of yourself.

So right now say to yourself that you have had enough of your own excuses. You have had enough of complaining about your lack of success. You have had enough of half trying and half finishing. From this day forward you are going to be the best. You are going to work harder at aquiring the skills you need. You are going to work harder at your goals and setting them. You are going to make sure you get the right rest so you can perform at your best. From this day forwards you demand that you will succeed.

What are you waiting for?

Quote:

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
Henry Ford

Keep focused on what you are trying to achieve and the problems that arise will become opportunities for you to work through to be closer to your goal.

I once read a story about a man who was trying to get his team to think more positively about a project. Whenever they sat down to talk about something they would spend their time moaning about all the things they could not do. To counter this he insisted that from that day on they would only think about what they could do and not what they could not do. It transformed the meeting.

Don’t waste your time thinking about things you cannot do – instead concentrate on what you can do. Don’t moan about what you do not have but instead think about what you do have.